Does anyone really use Foursquare?

Not in Logan. Not really. A few dozen of Loganites enjoy the creepy nature of location based Foursquare, but a majority of them are international students attending Utah State University. If you were a part of a 1% minority, you’d probably use it to. Among Americans, only the occasional LDS return missionary can even begin to relate with you and your culture. The rest of your friends are most likely fellow international students so why not keep tabs on where they are? It’s not likely that you’ll load up the Dodge Ram and hit the fields for good ol’ bunny bashing with John Smith next door but more likely you’re going to cook native food and watch futbol with friends a few units over that understand your culture. You’re wondering why I’m spending so much time on international students and that’s just the point; location based social media is slowly bringing those cultures that we don’t understand to our doorstep. I can see where Muhammad goes and what he thinks about the places he visits and experiences he has there. I can begin to understand his culture in a very non-threatening environment. When I meet Muhammad, I have a pre-constructed sense of familiarity and trust which brings us together, regardless of his ability to name every player on Manchester United. Not to mention… if Muhammad is an avid user I can find him anytime and say hello.

So we have this power, this creepy, but intriguing power. Where are the rest of the Loganites? Where do they spend their time? No one knows. There aren’t any powerhouse agencies here that measure public perceptions, overall attendance at sporting events in general, how Loganites restaurant attendance compares to the national average. There’s virtually no comprehensive data. There’s virtually limitless opportunity to understand this valley’s habits and culture, well, limitless up to 112,000 brains. The population could justify research and acquisition of data if we were in Qatar, with a per-capita income $88k…but we’re in Logan, where your average adult makes a surprisingly low $16,000.

Foursquare is the no-budget answer to truly understand the behavior patterns of small towns, that is if you can get the predominantly non-progressive folks that don’t think they need a new host of friends in their lives to adopt the technology. Even a basic smart phone would be a great start! One thing we know about Loganites? They love Chick Fil A, mid-scale Mexican restaurants, ice cream in any form, and absolutely love non-profit community events. These are scenes, places, businesses, and can you believe it? They are almost all completely Mayor-less! I’m the mayor of the Flying J in Snowville, UT. It’s my wife and I’s favorite pit-stop between here and Boise. I really check in about once every couple months for giggles and have quite a powerful mayorship now.

So Logan business, let’s learn about what utility can be found in Foursquare. Offer free ice cream to the mayor whenever he/she desires it. What?! That’s expensive! Loganite, oh Loganite, take a lesson from Wall Street and learn to leverage a little bit, c’mon, everyone’s doing it. Pretty soon the word will spread to the devoted digerati in Logan… yes, there may only be 30 of them, but bear with me. Pretty soon, they’ll be occupying your store! Heck, Lynn’s Audio and Video, give up a flat screen, go ahead, it’s ok, don’t cry. You may have people camping out on your front step like it’s black Friday. The paper may pick up, bing! Free advertising.

Heck, your mayor eventually becomes one of your best friends and literally works for you and all he wants in payment is to hang out at your store! That’s where the online connections lead to offline friendships and business associates. Heck, with your new best friend, why not slap his face up on the front entry. Make everyone jealous! Make everyone want to check in at your place. “From a broad strategy point of view, there’s a huge potential with the ability to connect people to promotional experiences,” Bonin Bough, PepsiCo‘s global director of digital and social media, told AdAge.

For now it seems Loganites have the best hand on the creepiest of all Banjo App, which pings me when my friends are near. Heck, I even got pinged that @aboutjordan was 280 miles from me when I was in Boise one weekend. How is that Loganites have caught on to the Banjo app and not Foursquare, can anyone tell me why? Hey, Lynn’s Audio and Video, get with the program!


Intelligent sincerity below

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